A return to writing...

I've had a lot to write about lately, but have been held back for a variety of reasons. I'm hoping that blogging will help me move beyond my inner critic/perfectionist. Aaaaand, away we go!

Well, I'm still here. Still breathing, though not so much with the kicking....My recovery from four herniated discs in my lower back is not progressing as well as I had hoped. The spinal specialists said I needed to have 3 of them replaced with artificial discs and eventually the fourth herniated one as well. I've had so many surgeries at this point that I really want to avoid another if possible. It is seeming less likely that I will be able to function without some kind of further intervention.

I was in constant jaw pain for decades prior to this and the addition of back pain is really wearing me down. Lack of insurance (and therefore lack of Dr's visits) certainly hasn't helped. Thankfully,  I do qualify for health care on the reservation from Indian Health, unfortunately it is a 45 minute drive and I don't have a car, so that poses a challenge.  The buses don't even go there. A friend (SM) has generously agreed to take vacation time from work (since they only offer appointments during  the work-week) to drive me out there on December 6th. Eleven days to go until I can at least get back on prescriptions to help.

On the bright side, I have been in my own place since March. My only roommates are the furry kind - my cat Glitch and my dog Charly. Although, considering they don't perform housework or prepare their own food, they are closer to kids than roommates, I suppose. At least, most roommates that I've had.

I've had a tremendous amount of help from  friends during my recovery. I was already injured when I moved into this place so I wasn't really able to contribute. Accepting help is getting easier, but asking for help is still quite a challenge and not something I enjoy. SM also came over yesterday with food and Dr Pepper, even walked Charly for  me. She's so sweet and so willing to help and yet I cringed when I asked her to hang my shower rod again since it collapsed on me during my last shower. In my physical condition, I couldn't have put it back up. The amount of things that I can't do at this point is a long one and It gets discouraging. The Dr's said I am not suppose to lift more than 5 pounds. As a frame of reference,  a gallon of milk weighs 8.6 pounds. So, I live alone and have a unopened gallon of milk, (the main ingredient in my mostly liquid diet due to the jaw issues) what am I to do? Adapt. I use my rollie office chair to navigate the kitchen and move heavy (5 pounds or more means heavy in this case) items onto my lap and roll. Which is still painful and more than is medically advised, but I haven't managed to teach Charly how to retrieve food. She can find it and eat it with extraordinary skill, though! Recently she used my rollie chair to reach the butter dish on the counter when I was out, and proceeded to eat the whole thing...She is smart, persistent and loves butter...just like me.